Episode Summary in Five Sentences or Less
Ancient demon Moloch the Corruptor 4 is set loose in the computer system when the book in which he is imprisoned 5 is scanned into the library's online archives. 7 Being a Corrupter and all, he seduces various students online into doing his bidding, including Willow. 8 Some computer nerd types try to off Buffy when she gets too close to uncovering Moloch's evil plan, 9 but one of them gets cold feet and warns her just in time. New teaching addition and "Techno-Pagan" 10 Miss Calendar jolts Giles into grasping the enormity of the situation, and they jointly entrap the demon in his newly-constructed robot body. Buffy quickly dispatches same by getting the non-insulated robot body to punch into a fuse box, resulting in electricity shorting out said robotics…explosively. 11
A Random Number of Overarching Thoughts And Witless Observations of Varying Length 12
(1) So, what line were you waiting on?
It actually takes a significant number of interactions between characters for everyone to understand that Willow has only talked to her new beau via the internet and has not met him in person. This is presented as a novel and unexpected way to have met someone and certainly bizarre that the conversations have been limited to that type of contact. How quickly things change. 13
(2) This does not fit the Slayer profile
When The Corruptor scans Buffy's permanent record, it's revealed that she has a 2.8 GPA, which is low for someone of her obvious intelligence, but believable in that she's presented as more "street smart" than "book smart." But what is really jarring is the 1 absence. One??? Haven't we seen her sneak out of school more times than that? And no sick days?
(3) Support staff can be so inconsistent
One the one hand, whoever is wardrobing the Buffster this episode is rocking it hard – Jackie O sunglasses with a nice trench when she is spying on a Moloch-influenced student, nice snow-leopard coat later. Just a really nice job. But the guy who wrote the music 14 – bleeeeugrrrrghhhh. Some of the most worthless dreck I've heard in quite some time. It's not a good sign when I notice the background incidental music.
(4) You need to get out more
Geez, Buff, never go into the empty running shower room in the dark, deserted locker room!! Have you never seen a horror movie?
(5) Know your audience
Moloch, buddy, for a demon whose whole *thing* is getting people to trust and love you so that they will do your bidding, you really should've considered a somewhat less imposing and, um, demon-looking robot body.
(6) See, looks *are* important!
After giving Buffy a big long speech about how it's what is inside that counts, Willow ultimately spurns Moloch only after meeting him and seeing his hideous robot body (see above). Tsk, how very shallow.
Episode Eight Sunnydale Power Rankings
1. Buffy Summers (Last Week: 1; Trending: Steady)Recovering quickly from last episode's heartbreak, our heroine is back in the swing of things, enjoying life and rocking the pretty outfits. And for the 8,427th consecutive time, it's The Slayer who realizes that everything isn't, in fact, all right. And even when he Mad Slayer Skillz are insufficient against Moloch The Huge Foreboding Robot, she uses her wits to destroy the menace.
2. Miss Calendar (Last Week: Not Ranked; Trending: Way, Way, Way Up)Not since The Anointed One 16 has a new character had such an immediate impact! Not only is Miss Calendar hip to the raging demons all around us, she seems to have both greater familiarity with Moloch in particular, and is considerably more instrumental in figuring out how to apply the ancient rite to him. 17
3. The Anointed One (Last Week: 3; Trending: Stable)Oh man, I am so jazzed to see what he must be up to! Even without appearing in this episode, I'm just sure that The Anointed One must really be crafting an insidious plan behind the scenes! That Slayer won't ever know what hit her, eh kid? Whoooooo-hooo!
4. Angel (Last Week: 2; Trending: Down)Sure, he may be an undead unholy minion of Satan….but what a hottie! Even when he's not around, Buffy can't keep her mind off of him....and their ultimately doomed love.
5. Soul-Crushing Despair (Last Week: Not Ranked; Trending: Up, Crushingly)
Buffy has a date with a dude who turns out to be a thrill-seeking loser. Xander's crush is actually a giant insect that wants to eat his head. Willow is seduced by an ancient demon that becomes a robot. Love is doomed, people. Best not to expect otherwise.
Dropping Off:
Cordelia Chase (who? I wonder how much she was ever intended to be more than incidental)
The Master (for a Big Bad, you would think he would be on the show more often)
Never Considered:
Willow Rosenberg (just sad)
Rupert Giles (at least he's starting to believe his Slayer when she thinks something is off, but it's still his negligence that led to the problem in the first place and Miss Calendar who really saves the day)
Xander Harris (back to being the team mascot)
Willow Rosenberg Fashion Update
After getting ready to gouge my eyes out when she starts with Sweater-Shirt #806 in the opening scenes, she actually perks up some with a tolerable floral print when she thinks that Moloch is just a nice boy that is interested in her. While it's sad that that constitutes room for optimism, it is at least a step in the right direction. Now….consider something radical. Maybe jeans and a T-shirt?
And Now, A Word From Our Big Bad
Oh, you think we're just sitting around, waiting for that accursed Slayer to try to foil our nefarious plans. But no. Just you wait. This Hellmouth is going to open, and when it does….oh, when it does….
Totally Subjective Biaxial Entertainingness Scatterplot
Definitely a "meh" episode. The only thing that is particularly good that happens is the introduction of Miss Calendar. On the other hand, Willow's spirit is crushed just a little bit more, Moloch is largely incompetent despite the amazing resources at his disposal, 18 Giles continues to be ineffectual, Xander regresses into comic relief, and even Buffy falls into some pretty terrible clichés. While nothing too abysmal happens – certainly no She-Mantises or anything – there isn’t much to recommend this ep. The ending (see Quote 1 below) does move it up on the Lame/Awesome access though.
Top Ten Episode Quotes
10. Xander: "You're going to miss out! I'm going to be witty! I'm planning on making fun of all the people who won't talk to me."
9. Buffy: "What if things get really intense, and then you find out that he…has a hairy back!"
Willow: "What? No! He….he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back."
8. Buffy (after narrowly escaping electrocution): "Tell me the truth. How is my hair?"
Xander: "….it's….your best hair ever!"
7. Xander (after imparting knowledge): "What, I can't have information sometimes?"
Giles: "…it's just….somewhat unprecedented."
6. Fritz: "The printed page is obsolete! Information isn't bound up anymore! It's an entity! The only reality is virtual! If you're not jacked in, you're not alive." 19
Miss Calendar: "Thank you, Fritz…for making us all sound like crazy people."
5. Miss Calendar: "I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th Century…with three whole years to spare!"
4. Giles: "Couldn't you just stop Moloch by…entering some computer virus?"
Miss Calendar: "You've seen way too many movies."
3. Moloch: "Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money for a contract on his mother's life. Good for him."
2. Miss Calendar: "Here again? You kids really like the library, don't you?"
Buffy: "We're literary!"
Xander: "To read makes our speaking English good."
Buffy: "We'll be going now."
1. Buffy: "Let's face it, none of us are ever going to have a happy normal relationship."
Xander: "Yeah! We're doomed!"
<Laughter>
<Prolonged Silence>
Up Next: Episode 1.9: The Puppet Show. More MoW, I think. But IIRC, the Puppet is actually pretty cool here. Maybe that's wishful thinking. Posting anticipated…..well, let's just leave it at that. Posting is anticipated.
______________________________
1 And we continue the X-Files Pattern with a MoW episode. I do not remember it being this back-and-forth. Maybe because the plot ones are just better, maybe because they stopped doing so many MoW episodes after this season. 2
2 Golly I hope it's option #2. These MoW eps have not been particularly good. 3
3 Yes, this means that there may actually be something to papafunk's theory that the show started slow. Grumble, mutter. I still say that the business with The Master generally holds up, but it doesn't help that he's not even featured in half of the eps.
4 Now there's a name that a demon can be proud of!
5 More evidence of Giles's rank incompetence. Hey, I just got a shipment of rare antique books about demons and the like! Including this one ancient bound one with a hideous demon face on the cover! I guess I'll just hand them over to these student volunteers and get them scanned in without checking them for anything dangerous. Not like anything bad could ever come of it! 6
6 Of course, it's not like there is a special library caged area for particularly dangerous books or ones that haven't been cleared yet or anything.
7 Say what? A high school in the late '90s is scanning the contents of books into an online archive? Is that even legal? Isn't Google being sued over that or something today? Exactly how progressive was the tech of Sunnydale High?
8 Okay, well, technically Willow never actually does his bidding. In fact, he never really bids her to do anything. Hrmmm. Odd. There is definitely some kinda romantic seduction thing going on though.
9 "Plan" may be going a bit far, really. He's having a robot body built. I mean, okay, it looks spooky and all, but it’s not like if he's left alone for a couple days then he can prepare the secret incantations and open The Hellmouth. He's just having some minions build some stuff.
10 Seriously, Joss? "Techno-Pagan"???
11 Yet another demon dispatched by shoddy insulation.
12 Still trying to figure out what to do with this section, obviously.
13 Although it could be said that the show was just being a bit slow here. I can quickly think of one friend who more or less contemporaneously met someone online that evolved into a rather significant relationship.
14 In fact, it's so bad that I'm going to call him out by name 12 years later on my personal blog that is read by no less than five people. So there, Walter Murphy! You suck! YOU! SUCK! 15
15 On further review, it appears that Mr. Murphy may already have been punished by the cosmos by being relegated to working exclusively on Seth MacFarlane shows. *shudder*
16 Ha ha. Yes. Well.
17 By, you know, typing it into the nearest computer. Man, the connectivity back then was awesome.
18 Seriously, why not just convince a bunch of bankers to transfer billions into a secret account, buy an island, then rule the world via the net?
19 Fritz, perhaps due to his name, is awfully angry for a kid who apparently volunteered to scan library books into the computer system.
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